actually come to think of it there is nothing right or wrong in it as it is the individual's choice on what he/she feels like doing.. lets just take the case of blogs being the new age diaries..and i shud say i have always been an introverted extrovert when it comes to spilling my heart out.. i guess i was never comfortable sharing things openly and completely with anyone other than one or two exceptions.. sharing was never a problem, the issue was with thinking aloud.. what is it which always makes me hold back my thoughts???
the fear/shame of may be not being able to stand up to those words?? the apprehension of becoming too predictable?? the wannabe fake attitude of trying to act too cool by being someone one can never understand?? the uncertainty about my ideas being accepted by everyone?? or just bullheadedness and arrogance?? or is it just me being ME??
well i think one of the biggest factor was the strong inclination towards not becoming too predictable. what is the point of me having ideas and my say if people could already tell what i wud want to say!! i presume its more abt the feeling of individuality.. and ya the question of ppl accepting my ideas wud also pop in sometimes.. not that i ever cared about peoples' acceptance but if not all at least some of theirs' mattered and hence su shut up u better not say it.. so y all this question answer session now?
its just an attempt to clear my mind off questions like:
- does everyone have to be the same
- do i have to have the same thoughts as a lot of others do
- is it that important to share things with people
- cant i keep things to myself
- and does keeping things to oneself mean one needs psychological help
y do ppl come to conclusions like oh i dint give u enough space to open up, guess it was my fault something i did which makes u hold back things from me, may be i never gave u the feeling that i cud empathize with u.. oh come on.. give me a break.. no its got nothing to do with you.. its just me!! i am not very comfortable sharing things and NO not because u dint create the comfort zone or i am on the verge of becoming insane, it is because i am being ME!! i am like this and try dealing with it..
what could be a bigger paradox than putting down my thoughts on not wanting to put down thoughts :D and then again thats exactly what i am ;)
